Trait #5

Kids on the spectrum have lower adaptive skills than other children. Typically, they take change to be very hard. They will seek for a pattern or a routine in their lives or familiar surroundings so they can come to know what to expect. It is hard for them to function without it. My boys just THRIVE on structure. If anything in their day was slightly off they would start throwing a tantrum. Who would think something as simple as changing a picture on a wall would upset their world, but I kid you not...I bumped a picture and it was crooked and that created a fuss. They can be so particular about the strangest things. I had one child for a season that would only wear yellow shirts. We learned quickly that life was a whole lot easier if we just followed a routine. They learned how to cope better. As a mother of three boys on the spectrum, it is hard to feel like you are walking on egg shells all day trying to not upset their surroundings because if you do than all H-E- double hockey sticks break loose! My life is far more rigid than I ever thought imaginable. I have told my hubby on occasion that for a season I am willing to do this for kids sake and my own sanity, but down the road when the kids are older and off doing their own kind of things, if I say, honey, we are going to some unknown vocational spot, say Bombay, then you better fly with it baby because this lack of spontaneity in my life is driving me personally C-R-A-Z-Y....I have always had such a adventuresome spirit....so this is totally not me to be so ritualistic. At the moment, I recognize it helps my boys to follow a rigid schedule but hopefully my life will not always be so rigid. I have also observed that when they cognitively comprehend the concept of time things became so much easier. It goes hand in hand with understanding structure. I could say it was time to read or play or bathe or eat by simply verbally adding " time" to the end of each action to communicate that next thing in the schedule.