One of my auties, he really struggles with seeing the social clues, body language, and the unspoken rules. Despite, that we have reviewed the rules constantly, he still does not understand it.
He likes to touch everything in the environment so it because an issue at times when he is touching someone's stuff or does not ask before using things. When he was younger, people were a lot more forgiving and understanding, but now, that he is 11 years old, it is another story.
Most toddlers, they see a person's emotional limitations by a facial expression. However, he does not see it and he is the type of person to just keep pushing those "emotional" buttons. My biggest concern is the consequences that might naturally happen to him because he has not learned this yet. I literally have to put a physical or tangible boundary between us when he is in this mode because he takes it too far and I really don't want to lash out at him. It would be a natural reaction for us humans to either run or fight back, the flight/fight defense mechanism that we all do have. Since I can't always run away, I realize I need space to gain my composure. He is way too "big" for me to give him a time out like you do younger kids. At times, he will not stay in his room. I am thankful he likes to play outdoors a lot, so I ask him to use the restroom and go play outdoors for a while. I just redirect him in a sense and give him a healthy way to get out of my hair and let me settle down so I can be a better mom. He gets to get all his extra energy out. By the time, that he returns, I feel better and he has forgotten whatever he was upset about in the first place. However, my fear, is that someday, as he gets older that older kids will get physically aggressive with him when he is in this mode. It is hard for anyone to tolerate his tendency to keep demanding what he wants. He will seriously make you miserable until he gets what he wants. Thing is: I am stubborn. I have learned that autistic kids need to learn that is NOT the way to get your needs met, so I do not encourage that behavior. So, I don't give him anything until he is asking in the appropriate way. By asking, I do mean not literally that he is asking, but that his approach is more acceptable or what society would expect from him. It is much harder for kids to deal with social conflicts than adults. Adults have learned strategies to avoid conflict.
Our biggest challenge is getting him to understand safety rules and keeping him safe on a community level. The stranger danger stuff just seems to go through one ear and out the other. We are starting to wonder if he has attachment issues because he is very defiant at times and non compliant. He just does not understand the importance of obedience and following rules to keep you safe. Most kids know their parents love them and are trying to do what is best for them. He is reacting towards all his caregivers negatively when they try to teach him or give him a consequence when it is needed. It has been a real struggle.
My other two boys, who are also on the spectrum, they do not have these issues. I think they were just delayed in learning it. In my mind, it is better late than never.
