Okay, so naturally my thoughts went today towards church attendance being that today is Sunday....and well, there is a lot to be said about this day.....namely, all the parents that feel challenged with kids under the age of five years old to get anything out of church, so all parents have a complaint in this behalf, am I right? I mean it is a mere miracle to get them all dressed and out the door on time. I can say no different, of course. My kids were so high maintenance that it made attending church nearly impossible. Our church goes for three hours straight, so it is really hard for the little ones to sit that long....any kid! Now, my kids, they are over the top and most people would have easily given up and I say this after interviewing a lot of people with autistic kids who quit going to church for a while because it was a battleground...it was probably hard enough to motivate themselves out the door for various of reasons, but to get there and feel like you are not spiritually fed because you are dealing with a constant battle with your child, and that would really sink one's hope for sure!! I literally paced the halls so much that you can probably hold me responsible for wearing out the carpet there. I just stuck with the idea that if we kept coming to this strange place than it would become familiar and eventually we would work on the kinks in the road to actually teaching them about why we are there each week. My sibling would and actually has openly admitted that my personality is very determined and stubborn, being the goal oriented person I am, that nothing would deter me and he meant it...nothing! I laughed because he is right. Once I get an idea in my mind, I have a hard time letting go of it. It's a blessing apparently and a curse!!!! It's blessed me with being diligent no matter the battle that I didn't give up and just kept plugging a long....and by this point, I feel more like a soldier than any other role. I thank God, that I had a break with my daughter in between my second and fourth boy child because she did not have any of these challenges and I did get to enjoy church for a few years, but guess what? Ha! I am back to the battle front.
I have no regrets and it is amazing to see how far my oldest one has come because I didn't give up on him. Today, he was sustained as a deacon to the Aaronic Priesthood. It will be such a blessing to have another priesthood holder in my home! I was not dry eyed today. His teachers will come up to me and tell me they are truly humbled when they have had him as a student because he knows the gospel so well and takes it seriously for a kid his age. Now, I won't take all the credit, but I am starting to see the fruits of my labors. It's like that feeling that, "I knew it, I knew it! I knew all this hard work would pay off someday. It's an internal feeling that can't be put primarily into words. He is a good kid and I love him. I see this young man that tries hard to do what is right and understands the gospel far more than I ever did at his age. I did ask myself many times when he was younger as I memorized the hall walls, "why am I here?" and "what's the point?" because I truly wondered if he got anything out of being there and I sure know I didn't feel like I was.....but I am glad I didn't let discouragement tamper my hopes, that I was able to keep an eternal perspective on things. I don't know what I would have done without the gospel and the message of hope it adds to one's life in facing problems as big as mine. I could not do this without God, and I am glad I don't have too.
