When do we seek for a diagnose? Good question!
I can say the sooner the better for treatment options. However, if you do it too soon, then you may miss some underlying issues that don't show until later.
I am thankful that I got my oldest child into an intensive therapy and language program before age 3. The results were fantastic. He is the poster child of why you don't delay a diagnose and enroll them in a therapy program. He responded really well to it. Within six months, he was talking and responding to structure and routine. It was awesome.
However, follow your gut feeling.
My next child, I was not ready to take him to be diagnosed and I let some well meaning person persuade me to take him in for testing. He was borderline and we didn't get a proper diagnose from him, and half his issues didn't start showing until two years LATER. I regret that I let him be tested at that time. End result, he was enrolled into a program that didn't work out for him anyway. I wish I had waited. We took him to another doctor for a second opinion and they were too lazy to test them appropriately and wanted to rely on other doctor's notes. We have struggled through the years to get some to take us seriously. We know and have known through the years he has OTHER issues unaddressed despite we KNOW he is on the autistic spectrum. They just want to say, "oh, he's autistic!" ...uh, well duh! That initial testing set the stage for the rest of his life. I had nothing else to bring to the plate except he is on the spectrum. The only thing, we were able to do was get a psychologist to see him at age 7 and agree he had hyperactivity issues and agree to try to medicate him for a while. The medicine helped for a while and then he built a tolerance for it. The side effects were worse than the original symptoms, so we took the course of natural remedies. He's a long story, but basically I wish I had waited until he was 7 years old to have him tested. I believe he would have been able to get special education services regardless of the diagnose because his needs were obvious.
I have chosen with my youngest to do things differently. I am allowing the school to do their testing for placement purposes and making an IEP goal sheet for him so the teacher knows his needs and they have a plan at school in treating him. However, I am going to wait till he is 7 years old to take him where they diagnose him. He is very high functioning, if he is on the autistic spectrum. I don't see the need to do it before that point. The school is handling his needs beautifully.
I am comfortable with that decision after what I experienced with the older two boys. I have had people ask me and I decline answering. It is none of their business. The school should NEVER ask you unless their is some legal reason too.
